So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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