No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
