Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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