dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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