I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
