These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize