And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
