The maid of honor just puked.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
