We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
