Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
