dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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