My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
