glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
In America we eat man semen.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
