I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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