Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
