I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
