btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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