I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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