I wannas sexs uuuuu
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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