I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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