kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I could fuck to npr.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Your penis caused this!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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