is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
