We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
