..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
