just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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