question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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