honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize