If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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