Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
