the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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