just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
