In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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