Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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