Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize