hotel room ftw
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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