She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
