It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We are all done wearing pants today
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
