go do what you do best...puke behind churches
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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