how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
