I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
