you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
