Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
