There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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