i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
