I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
