her vagine was all disorganized.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
