Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
