I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
