help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
