Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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