ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
