Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
