put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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