the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
