Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
