My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dick very happy bro
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