ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
