Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
