You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
