Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
