You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
