in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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