$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
