its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
