I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
