what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What a dumb baby whore.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
