he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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